Clay Basham masturbated in front of me on the first date, right after he learned I wasn’t going to have sex with him.
My Astonishments, opinions and observations:
At what point, in the infancy of dating someone, is it appropriate to pull out your junk and masturbate in front of your partner? I had always believed it was something you worked into. Apparently not. I had heard that guys were becoming increasingly brazen and having themselves on first dates, but I never expected it from a 46 year old man.
First real date, that is. We started texting September 11, 2016, met at Starbucks for an hour or so on the 14th, and went on a date to a metal show on the 16th. So, the “real date” I refer to is the metal show on Wednesday, September 11th. That is the infamous night of the premature unveiling.
We started kissing before entering the show, and it was amazing. We kissed a lot during the show as well, but outside where he could smoke…a lot. Since he smoked so much, I missed a majority of the show. Judging by his AC/DC T-shirt, he didn’t understand the difference between Rock ‘n Roll and Metal. He kept making comments that we should leave, so we finally left early. Max Cavalera made a surprise appearance and played after we left. So, I missed that…
We went back to my place. We made out for a little while, but once Clay realized that I wasn’t going to put out, he whipped “it” out and proceeded to take care of himself. I’m not gonna lie, I was like a deer in headlights. I said and did nothing. I did, however, try to use my peripheral vision to see if he was…as substantial as his height. I couldn’t turn my head too much (I was trying the “no eye contact” thing). It appeared that he was only using 2-3 fingers (which is NEVER a good thing), but I ignored the possibility. I was, and am, ashamed of myself for allowing that to happen.
Just like it’s kinda slutty to put out on the first date, it’s equally disrespectful to masturbate in front of someone just because they aren’t putting out. It says that you only care about your own personal pleasure and not the comfort level of your partner. I wasn’t ready to take the relationship further, he disregarded that. I didn’t speak up for myself, thus set the standard for months of disrespect and selfishness on EVERY level.
This is a perfect example as to why I was under the impression that he was simple and unintelligent. His actions were childish and lacked control. It kinda reminded me of that guy in Sons of Anarchy that couldn’t stop jacking off. I incorrectly concluded that he was merely socially inept as opposed to being completely selfish and rude.