Help-less

Facts:

1. Michael “Clay” Basham, promised to do yard work for me to thank me for letting him stay at my house.
2. Michael “Clay” Basham, promised to help me pick up picnic tables for a charity event I was working on.
3. Michael “Clay” Basham, promised to remove a bush from my front lawn, since he had been late on his payments to me for the excessive amount of money he borrowed.
4. Michael “Clay” Basham, never followed through with any of these things.

Opinions & Observations:

It’s that time of year where I begin a huge fundraising project for a local and national charity.  Last year I was invited to participate, and fell in love with the cause.  While is excites me to begin on this journey again, I’m also reminded of yet more of Michael “Clay” Basham’s shortcomings.  His empty promises, even in the name of charity, were ongoing throughout our relationship.

When Michael “Clay” Basham first moved into my home, less than a month of meeting him, he verbally expressed his gratitude for my kindness.  He said that he would love to help with landscaping work around my house to repay me for what I was doing for him.  “Wow!” I thought to myself, “Finally a guy that will help out around the house.”  His repeated his intentions often, leading me to believe that he was actually going to follow through.  But, like everything else about Michael “Clay” Basham, the words were limp and unfulfilling.

Later, I was in charge of refinishing some picnic tables for the charity event I mentioned earlier.  I needed to pick them up from a restaurant that had closed down, and refinish them.  There were several of them, so I needed some help.  Not only to carry them out and load them, but also to transport them.  Clay said that he would “love to help.”  Boy was I thankful!  Until it came time to follow through.  The excuses piled up for weeks with “I fell asleep,” “I’ve got the kids last minute,” or towards the end, he just wouldn’t return my calls or texts.  The deadline to pick up the tables was fast approaching and I could no longer wait.  So, I ended up doing it myself.  It took me several trips to accomplish, instead of one.

During the last couple months of our relationship, he promised to remove a bush from my front yard that I had cut down to a stump.  He kept missing payments of the money he had promised to pay me back, so he said he would “love to do it.”  He owed me big time.  Again, the excuses built up.  But, this talk of “bush” escalated the conversation leading to the “Squirt” post, another anticlimactic event…at least for me.  He never did help me remove the bush…or pleasure me for that matter.

I complained to my friend that he failed to live up to his promises, again.  She pointed out, “I don’t know why you even ask him.  He NEVER does anything for you.”  This moment of clarity she bestowed unto me was poignantly true.  Spot on.  I was trying so hard to find ways for him to prove that he was a decent human being, I failed to accept he was totally incapable of it.  Again, narcissistic sociopaths lack empathy.  He’s a parasite, and parasites don’t leave thank you gifts.  They siphon everything they can from their host, then move on to the next one.

So, like sex with Clay, if doing something for you doesn’t satisfy the immediate maintenance of his status quo, don’t expect him to lift a finger for you.  Unless he’s substituting his fingers for his penis.  In that case, I say take the win.

See you the first Tuesday of November!  I’m taking a little reprieve.  In the meantime, please pass this blog on to anyone that is dating in the greater Phoenix, Scottsdale, Chandler, Mesa, Tempe areas and beyond.  Especially, if they are single mothers.  We can only stop this monster if we work together!

-S